Nobody needs an introduction to the Lucille bat (here’s Negan!), that barbed wire wrapped beauty who went from America’s pastime to brutal killer. Some of you may recall the nail bat fight between Plissken and Slag (Ox Baker) in The Duke’s arena in old 1997 New York. Want to meet some of their contemporary cousins? If so, we invite you to check out the handmade “tactical bat” selection at Primal Concepts. Each creation in this lineup has far more to admire (and exhibits much greater craftsmanship) than any ole post-apocalyptic bat with nails. We’re not entirely sure how utilitarian a tactical baseball bat, bat blade, or blade with spikes really are…but they sure look good!

A Lucille bat comes in handy but a nail bat (or a bat with spikes) definitely has a certain appeal (as @lolobe4 so ably demonstrates).

Primal Concepts has taken the most cudgel-suitable part of America’s Pastime, thrown in a few vicious spikes or lengths of Joe Glidden’s baby to create some beautiful (if brutal) works of art. These have more wood (*snicker*) than some of the other weapons we’ve looked at in the past, but sometimes your foe calls more for bludgeoning than hewing.

Note: that lead image is Ms. @Lexi.Ciara. Images below are all courtesy of Primal Concepts on social media. 

1. Can you ever go wrong with the red, white, and blue? Nope. Not in a tactical bat. Not hardly in anything!

Tactical baseball bat: a bludgeon that Steve Rogers would love.

2. Some people add knives, axes, blades, and all assortment of tactical gear to their kit. Why not a “tactical baseball bat”?

3. Good booze and good craftsmanship, what’s not to love?

4. There are a wide variety of choices of bats, from the weird goth girl at the hot topic to their BAT15, although civilians shouldn’t be able to buy military-grade assault bats. Right? Right. Pic rails on a bludgeoning weapon? Hell yeah. And look at the one on the left – what’s better than a nail bat? A bat with spikes.

We reckon any slugger could be a tactical baseball bat…but a bat with spikes is more tactical than most. Unless you get the spikes stuck in someone’s noggin of course.

And speaking of getting your spikes stuck…

A bat with nails may not look as good as a fancy bat with spikes, but they can be equally effective. Slag (Ox Baker) can attest to that.

The Manhattan Island Prison Complex, Hilltop Colony, the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone, wherever…the local warlord is a Thing.

5. They match any outfit for any occasion.

Tactical baseball bat – this one is a slugger plus barbed wire.

6. If your bat isn’t stabby enough, try a knife bat with a bat blade.

Looking for something you can beat someone with and get away with it?

How ’bout a foam Lucille bat designed for LARPing and such?

7. Here are some more of the Primal Concepts BAT15s, and a closer look at those rails. These are a great option if you need an optic for that extra bit of precision.

8. Everyone needs more knife bat in their life. Getcha some more with the knife bat “bat blade”. Not to be confused with anything carried by any melancholic vigilantes in Gotham.

Some Primal Concepts models aren’t a nailbat at all: they’re a bat blade.

It seems to us that a MOSTLY PEACEFUL morale patch would be perfect to wear while wielding one of these bats.

9. It’s not commonly known that a lot of the founding fathers actually carried bats. Alexander Hamilton was known to break a kneecap or two when the Redcoats were being punk-ass bitches.

10. Boba Bat, don’t throw a Fett about it.

11. And of course, they also have the classic Lucile! She’s as viscerally brutal looking as Ox Baker’s nail bat, but her on-screen debut involved much pithier dialogue. And better fightin’, for that matter.

The classic Lucille bat is the most iconic tactical bat. At least to contemporary audiences! Those of us who watched Commissioner Hauk’s effort to get the President outta Manhattan, however, will always have a soft spot for a bat with spikes.

You can find Primal Concepts on the ‘grams, @primalconcepts. Go buy yourself one of their beautifully brutal bats: PrimalConcepts.net.

Oh, and for those of you who need a reminder, this was one of Lucille’s forbears. Here’s where Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) introduces a primitive (though effective) nailbat (“tactical bat”?) to the back of Slag’s head (Ox Baker).  Scroll forward to about 3:00 in if you’d like to get right to it

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrMcLviWu-c

Lesson learned: if you’re going to use a bat with spikes, plan on transitioning to a secondary. This tactical baseball bat may want to remain wherever it hits.